This blog
post was started a few weeks ago, so it has been a work in progress. Part was written before school started and
part of it after.
I’m really
struggling with knowing what to write about.
More so than usual. There are so
many other good autistic bloggers and allies who seem to know just what to say. My mind is a constant swirling
mess. I am also struggling with lack of
time. I am finished my book to either
self-publish or see if a publisher is interested. I really only worked on it when Micah was in
therapy or in music lessons, because it is easier to focus away from the chaos
of our home.
I’m also
really struggling with back to school time.
It is one of my hated times of the year.
There is a change in season and a life change with Micah going back to
school. It is very hard for me to
adjust. We picked up Micah’s timetable
at registration and they had no lunch or classes with friends. Their mental health has not been good lately,
so they really needed to at least have lunch with friends so they could have some
positive interaction and support. They
were also put in a math class with a teacher whom the school knew was going to
be very unhealthy for Micah. He is the only teacher who
teaches the grade 10 math. Micah was pulled out and will do correspondence for grade 10 math instead. Classes that could have been set up with
friends weren’t arranged that way for some reason.
Micah had
been fearing back to school and with the schedule, those fears came true. Their anxiety greatly increased. Many kids don't like school, but they shouldn't have to fear it.
As an autistic parent, my anxiety gets bad knowing that I need to fix things so that they work out for the best and I try to make it
so that Micah’s anxiety does not get too bad.
I end up making calls, emailing, and dealing with things that I can’t
naturally do but it is typical parenting stuff so it must be done. This year, the school was
not allowing timetable changes for grades 10-12 until their first day of
school. How was I supposed to get Micah
to school if there was no safe timetable in place for their first day? I didn't know what to do and my anxiety got so bad that my body hurt and I felt very sleepy.
If I felt like that with what is essentially a regular parenting job, how did Micah feel being the one directly impacted. I did send four emails and even made a phone call. I didn’t hear back from the school.
I was told
to go into the school at 8am on the first day, which was only for grade
9’s. We waited for the guidance counselor. He came in and got things
sorted out. Micah ended up with three
classes and lunch with their best friend and lunch and one of the classes with
their girlfriend also. I don’t know why
my anxiety gets so bad when I know the school usually tries its best to fix
things.
The one
thing we are still having trouble with is the bus. Somehow, Micah no longer has the same bus
route or bus. They ended up with a short
bus instead of a minivan. I contacted
the school and told them the reasons why Micah needed a van and it was taken
care of. Micah did not end up on her old
route still. They were upset again about
issues in the van and we are now hoping those can be taken care of. Micah is back to me driving but for both the
morning and afternoon. I am worried that
there will be days when we will not be able to get Micah to school, because I
cannot drive one way or the other. I
really hope it gets sorted out! Found out that it is not to be this year. We will see what happens next fall.
My EDS seems
to really be making my body worse. I
used to have no problem getting up on a horse but after not riding for nine
months, it seems I can’t. I got a Groupon
to try the barn where Micah was riding with our old instructor. The first lesson was fine with the high
indoor mounting block. The second lesson
was not so good. There is a narrow,
wobbly, short step ladder outside in the ring or you can get on your horse just
outside the barn. I had gone to the ring
because I wasn’t comfortable getting on so far away from the ring and the
taller mounting block was surrounded by other things at the time. I tried to get on but my range of motion is
not as good as it used to be so I couldn’t get my leg up high enough as well as
have the strength to pull myself up. In
addition to that, I didn’t have the girth tight enough. We know where that leads! Slipping saddle and me hanging on and not
knowing where to put my foot to get back on the stool. Hard to get back on a short stool when you have motor planning problems and and also don't completely know where your body is in space. I was worried I would fall on the stool
and/or slip under the horse. Not
good. I finally got on but had irritated an
existing sore tendon in my leg, so I ended up walking most of the lesson. Since then, I have again given up
riding. Maybe, I am not meant to ride
anymore. It was one sport I liked to do
and it was actually good in some ways for my body. It helps with movement and many autistic
people have issues with movement and coordination. It was really good for my sensory needs, also.
Micah changed barns again to one which is closer to our house. Our instructor will work out of there
one day a week so far. Maybe next
summer, I will try again! The new place
is only about 20 minutes from our house as opposed to the 45 we have been doing
the past few months. That will be a lot
less stressful.
It’s almost
the Canadian autism awareness acceptance month. I guess I better get thinking about a good
blog post for it. Especially, with how
long it is taking me to write lately! Any ideas or suggestions?
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| Photo: Mandy (white female) riding Nemo a dark coloured small horse. |
